Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
