My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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