Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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