yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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