Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
