chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize