he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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