Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Randomize
