she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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