that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
