My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
