I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
