just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The uberlube is also flammable
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
