I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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