I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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