i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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