he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dick very happy bro
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