I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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