Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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