You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
