11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize