It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
