Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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