just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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