remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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