At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
