My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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