your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
