Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
