my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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