so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
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I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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