A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
