Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
