Your face is a jimmy john
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
