i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
