You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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