clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
