What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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