so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My Higher Power is John Stamos
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
