Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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