I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
