Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Text me some of your sweat
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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