I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
