So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
