I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I miss vodka workout Fridays
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
