In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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