i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
