gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize