A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
