but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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