i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize