Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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