nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I love you.
Bad choice
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
