Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize