I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
