i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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