What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
