I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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