I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
