i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
