I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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